Maybe I’m Just A Little Off The Wall….

Ok, so like many people, I have some seriously odd sleeping habits.  I prefer nights and for some strange reason it’s like I’m conditioned to a 36 hour schedule.  It’s as if I can easily stay up for 24 hours and sleep for 12 hours.  And it feels normal to me, but I know it’s not.

So, all this time at night, to myself, alone with my thoughts and bad television leads to some odd conclusions and theories.  Or, maybe it’s just my crazy sleep schedule.

For starters, as some one who believes in reincarnation, I wonder if maybe I’m stuck on some cycle from a past life.  And if there is life on earth, in my opinion, it’s reasonable to assume there is life elsewhere in the Universe.  So, if there’s life on other planets, and reincarnation, why would we be stuck coming back to only the same planet?  So, then I wonder: What if, in a past life, I was on a planet with 36 hour day cycles?

In my mind, even writing it here, it doesn’t sound completely out of the realm of possibility.    But then that gets me thinking about the way we live our lives, what we want versus what society expects.  And I can’t help but wonder why society has any right to expect me to live what they consider a traditional lifestyle. Maybe I was happier in that past life, on some distant planet, because they encouraged each other to follow their desires.

What’s even more unusual, and reenforces my belief in collective consciousness, is the fact that I know there are a lot of other people who feel a bit disheartened with life as we know it.  It can be stifling and inhibiting.

I don’t think people are meant to fit into an expected regiment of 9-5 life.  More of us than not are actually creative, emotionally charged individuals.  We don’t and can’t fit the norm.  We aren’t sheep or cattle, content to live out our lives in monotony.  We dream, we feel, we are high maintenance creatures.

Enter subcultures, right?  If your not one of the norms, you’re considered one of those “outsiders”.  And I am sure this started with the perspectives of at least 2 generations ago.  I mean, the people who would be my Grandparents age see tattoo’s, piercings, creative hair or clothes as being one of those crazy kids. But from my generations perspective (being of GenX), it’s normal.  These are our friends or acquaintances (or ourselves), the people we have grown up with, our peers.

I can say from experience, in my immediate family, I definitely stand out as “one of those”. Out of my parents, my brother and myself (I can even go as far as including my husband and my daughter), I am the only one with tattoo’s.  I have 16 piercings (15 of which are in my ears, I leave the last your imagination, but don’t give me too much credit for being more adventurous than I actually am).

But mine is the generation that really got to play with identity and personal presentation with a bit less persecution than previous generations. The 80’s are a perfect example of that! And I think, with my generation, with the mindset of an 80’s loving person, our hearts and minds were open to a way of life that was previously unavailable.  For instance, what in my grandparents youth was 24 hours?  Maybe the police station and hospitals.  But not a whole lot else.

Now we can do any kind of shopping we want, 24/7, even from home if we want. We are completely connected, through TV or computers or especially smartphones. And I know a lot of other people who seem as disillusioned with life as I do.  As if we’re missing something. And we are.  We have so much convenience and no challenges. Just 2 generations prior to mine, life still held some spark, some feeling of excitement and accomplishment. And I’m sorry, I love the game, but you don’t really get that even from WOW (well, if you do, then I envy you).

We have become a generation of couch potato’s because we can no longer get opportunities in our personal area’s of interest without an education or some serious experience in a field. We can have all the passion in the world, but if we aren’t the studious student, or have the right connections (or “their” very limited idea of experience), we will never even find our dreams.

The happy people are usually the one’s who realize their passions young.  When you know it’s a bit easier to throw yourself in.  When you get serious knowledge at a young age, you are bound to be successful with your passion. But what if we don’t find our passion until we are in the midst of our adult life? Most of us wind up feelings stuck to financial obligations and without any real energy to pursue extra curricular activities.

What’s worse is having to pay for an education, most likely while working full time to support a family. Even as a middle class person, there are times it is hard to make ends meet. There are few services out there available to help with these types of moments when you want (need?) to turn your life around.  And if we aren’t conditioned constantly to being an energetic person, then we stand even less of a chance.

And we always have a million reason not to make that leap of faith into something new and capable of completely destroying us. If we don’t take that leap, then we are lazy (or scared of failure, which to some of us feels awfully familiar, even if we aren’t necessarily “un”-successful).  Or if we take that leap (GERONIMO!) and fall on our face, we’re an idiot for throwing everything away to try something new an exciting. And what’s worse than worse is falling on our faces only to find ourselves in financial ruin for trying to attain those out of reach dreams.

Now, I have a lot of ideas on how to make this society work for “us”, the weirdo’s, the outsiders. But who would listen? I know a lot of people actually may, but a part of me fears we may be outnumbered by the norms still. But we all know, deep within, it’s probably time to take a real hard look at our society and what we really want from it.

I could go on, really, I could.  But the majority of me thinks that Maybe I’m Just A Little Off The Wall.

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3 Responses to Maybe I’m Just A Little Off The Wall….

  1. malamoragain says:

    Aww Welcome to our insanity Joanne!!! Love you!!! ❤

  2. Rea says:

    I love you!
    Of our 2 families: parents, siblings and spouses included, you and I are the only ones with tattoos and piercings. We’re both the “outsiders” for different reasons. I think we’re just more awesome. And we are the creative branches of the tree.

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